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Hail to the King

After the End Times

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Created on 2013-12-03 18:35:27 (#2127518), last updated 2013-12-23 (598 weeks ago)

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Name:Shaun Mason
Nothing is impossible to kill. It’s just that sometimes after you kill something, you have to keep shooting it until it stops moving. And that’s really sort of neat when you stop to think about it.



The Top Ten Ways An Irwin Stays Alive

By Shaun Mason, Chief Irwin, After the End Times
  1. Great, you survived training. Now realize it’s all training.
  2. Don’t worry about irritating the dead. They’re dead.
  3. Irwins sell suspense. Newsies sell the news.
  4. Know as many ways to access an area as possible.
  5. Conversely, keep your exits open.
  6. Be a good narrator.
  7. There will always be another outbreak. Wait for it!
  8. There are things in life more important than winning a golden Steve-O. I just can’t name them.
  9. If you’re going to do something stupid make sure the cameras are on. Because the number one thing to remember if you’re an Irwin…
  10. It’s all about the footage!
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